Phases of Heartbreak
by Jessica237
Summary: [Based around the promo for 5x24.] And now, for the first time, he truly knew heartbreak. Eric and Calleigh, and Jake. Simple promo speculation.


**Everyone's been speculating. This is my take on the 5-24 promo -- both of them, plus a little bit from what I've heard was in the TV Guide channel thing. I figured I'd project all my angsting about it into fic, lol. And ah, I'm not meaning to be mean to any of these three characters -- I love all three of them. :) But this is just how the story wrote itself, so, here you go. Like always, nothing recognizable belongs to me, and probably for good reason. I doubt they really need so much angst, lol.  
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* * *

Today had been one of the worst days of Eric's life. 

And given everything he'd been through over the past few years, that wasn't a phrase he threw around lightly.

It had been a day nobody wanted to repeat. Ever. Everyone was tired, weary. The day had overwhelmed them all. It had been stressful since the beginning, made even worse by the seemingly never-ending case, not to mention almost losing one of their own. Again.

As he drifted through the hallway, Eric's eye caught a glimpse of the one person who never failed to make his day brighter. She only had to be in the same building as him to lift his spirits. She stood at the other end of the hall, talking to somebody Eric couldn't make out. Not that he cared at the moment who it was; his eyes were currently transfixed on the way the light bounced off of her golden hair, making her look almost like an angel, at least from his viewpoint. Eric smiled warmly to himself; over the years, she truly had been his angel.

Quietly he approached her, and soon her voice reached his ears, immediately bringing a smile to his lips. She'd been having that effect on him lately, and Eric couldn't do a thing about it. Not that he wanted to, of course. It'd been so long since he'd felt…happy.

He slowed his steps slightly as she came into view, wanting to surprise her. Maybe congratulate her on yet another job well done, slipping a seemingly nonchalant invitation for a drink in there somewhere. Or maybe dinner. He doubted she'd eaten today, what with the day they'd had. He only hoped she wouldn't turn him down.

By now Eric was close enough to her to read her face, yet still not realize who she was talking to. From his position he couldn't clearly see his face, but from Calleigh's professional stance, Eric quickly assumed it was work related.

No problem. He'd just wait for them to finish talking. Besides, it would give Eric a little extra time to decide whether to ask her for a drink or dinner. Drinks they'd done, but dinner? Was that too forward? They'd always been friends, and sometimes friends got dinner together. Eric just wasn't sure if they were the kind of friends that got dinner together. Things had changed between them recently, and he didn't want to turn a simple dinner into an awkward…date. Before the night was over he knew he'd be referring to it by that. And if he was the only one referring to it by that, he didn't want to scare Calleigh off.

Perhaps drinks were a far better idea, for now.

A sudden movement caught his eye, and once more his gaze was drawn toward Calleigh and the stranger. That stranger stepped more into the light, and to Eric's dismay turned out not to be a stranger at all.

At this point, he couldn't resist stepping closer, just out of Calleigh's line of sight. He knew it would only end badly -- either Calleigh would find him eavesdropping, or he would hear something that he didn't want to hear. Or worse, witness something he never in his lifetime would want to see.

Still, despite knowing it killed the cat, Eric couldn't fight the curiosity. He crept ever closer, until their conversation reached his ears just as easily as though they were speaking directly to him.

"I just don't think it's a good idea, Jake."

Jake was quick to call her on that. "But when we shared class notes and ride-alongs, it was okay then?"

Calleigh shrugged. "Things were different in the academy. We were kids."

Jake smirked. "I'd hardly call anybody in our class kids, but okay. We were younger then. But we're older now. Both of us are smarter, more experienced. Don't you think we have a chance?"

Calleigh sighed. "Jake…"

His reply had Eric biting his lip in dread, holding his breath. "We were good together, Cal," Jake said quietly, gently touching her cheek. "I don't want to let that go."

Calleigh let out a deep breath, though when he'd touched her cheek, she couldn't stop the corner of her mouth from twitching upward. "Jake…" she repeated, her voice slightly weaker than before. It was barely noticeable, but Eric caught it, and that tiny change scared him. She couldn't give in…could she?

"I know," he admitted, raking a hand through his hair. "I let that go a long time ago. I let you go a long time ago."

Calleigh crossed her arms defensively. "Yeah, you did," she murmured, biting her lip.

A flash of…of _something_ passed through Jake's eyes, but Eric couldn't tell from his current position what exactly it was. Maybe hurt, defensiveness, anger -- he couldn't be sure. At least, not until Jake's next words.

"And it was the biggest mistake of my life, Cal," he murmured, not looking at her. Again he reached out to her, taking her hand. Calleigh tensed immediately, but Jake didn't let go, nor did Calleigh pull back.

"And it took you until now to realize that? Jake…" Calleigh remarked, shaking her head.

Eric wanted to do something. He wanted to barge in there, make up some reason for Calleigh to get out of there. Surely there were bullets to analyze, or guns to test. And if not, Eric was certain he could find some if it meant getting Calleigh away from Jake.

But as it was, Eric couldn't move. There was something about the scene unfolding before him that kept him rooted to the spot, unable to move, unable to look away.

He knew what he was waiting for.

He was waiting for Calleigh to subtly let Jake down. On second thought, Eric would rather see Calleigh turn Jake down in the most blatant way possible, but he knew that wasn't something Calleigh would do. Calleigh would let him down easy; perhaps even offer to get a cup of coffee after letting him down. He'd seen it happen before a few times. He even knew the routine. Eric called it her phases of heartbreak. That was something he never wanted to be on the receiving side of, like Jake surely was right now.

She'd already passed through the "say his name in a soft warning" phase, as well as the "cross her arms and avoid all eye contact" phase. Next would be the "I'd hate to lose you as a friend" phase, followed quickly by the "let's go get a coffee or something" phase.

Really, Eric felt for Jake. He really did. In his opinion, there was no greater heartbreak than losing Calleigh Duquesne. But just because he felt Jake's pain didn't mean Eric wasn't cheering inside.

Jake didn't deserve Calleigh. As Eric saw it, nobody who was foolish enough to let her go deserved her.

Eric just wished Calleigh would realize that. She was better than him. She was better than John Hagen; she was better than Peter Elliot. There wasn't a man alive good enough for Calleigh, and yet, she still seemed to choose from the bottom of the food chain. It honestly hurt to watch her make bad choice after bad choice, knowing she'd only end up hurt.

Eric's ears perked up again at Calleigh's next words, and he crossed his fingers, hoping she wasn't considering what he thought she was. "How do you even know that you and I…that we would even work?" Calleigh questioned, not meeting his eyes.

"I don't. You don't. But I do know you're willing to give it a try."

"How?" Calleigh challenged, her hands at her hips.

Jake smiled, almost sheepishly. "I know you, Calleigh. If you weren't, you wouldn't be standing here right now talking to me."

Eric held his breath, waiting. But the contradiction, the denial he waited for never came. Phase three in Calleigh's patented phases of heartbreak never came. That easy let-down never left her lips.

And suddenly, every last bit of empathy Eric had ever felt for Jake disappeared on the spot, and Eric was forced to watch the scene before him as though it were playing in slow motion.

He'd leaned into her, with a smile, and whispered something into her ear. Eric watched, begging any power that might've been listening to make Calleigh push Jake away, to narrow her eyes in disgust at him, to just turn around and walk away with an annoyed shake of her head.

That didn't happen. It didn't happen, and Eric's heart clenched in his chest as he realized what _had_ just happened.

Jake Berkeley had broken her barriers.

It began with a smile. Not just any smile, either. At first Calleigh's lips twitched, and she bit her lip, the way she always did when trying not to smile. That tactic failed this time, and her lips curved into that smile that Eric knew so well. It was the smile he'd been given so many times in the past, the smile that left butterflies in his stomach and his heart on overdrive. That smile could bring any man to his knees.

As if the smile weren't bad enough, Eric watched as she tilted her head and murmured something in return; something Eric couldn't catch but wasn't sure he'd wanted to catch anyway. Gently she reached out, tapping his shoulder, and Eric flinched. A moment ago Calleigh had been all but cold, and now she was flirting with him.

It couldn't get worse.

As soon as those four words flashed through Eric's mind, he mentally kicked himself. Now he knew it would get worse.

Still, he couldn't make himself walk away. His eyes watched steadfastly on as Jake flirted right back with her, making Eric's blood boil. And then, it seemed as though all the hope had been drained from Eric's body as his ears picked up on the soft sound that generally set his heart a-flutter, but right now only dropped a lead weight in his stomach.

Calleigh giggled. Not a quiet, embarrassed giggle, but a full, flirty kind of giggle. He watched as Jake smiled, whispering something in return -- Eric was suddenly too nauseous to catch the entire thing, but he knew he'd heard an "I've missed that."

Eric winced, almost in real, physical pain as he continued to watch. Again Jake reached out to her, brushing Calleigh's golden blonde hair behind her ear, letting his hand rest at her cheek. The jealousy that engulfed Eric was astounding; Calleigh's hair mesmerized him, and he'd always wondered how it would feel threading between his fingers. It was all he could do to resist reaching out and brushing a stray lock away from her face when they were working, but he always did. He'd never touched her hair. He'd never been allowed to let his touch linger on her cheek. He'd never been that close to her, and it killed him.

He felt his throat closing in as Jake stroked Calleigh's cheek with the pad of his thumb while Calleigh simply stood there. Eric couldn't read her face; he couldn't tell if she was overjoyed or disgusted.

And then, Eric's world stopped.

It not only stopped; it went dark, cold, and empty.

Slowly Jake tilted Calleigh's face upward. Her eyes widened and her smile faltered slightly, though not enough where Eric could tell if she was upset or just stunned. With one quick motion, Jake leaned in, capturing Calleigh's lips with his.

Eric waited. He waited in agony for Calleigh to do something; to push him away, to break the kiss, anything.

But she didn't.

Eric watched long enough to realize Calleigh wasn't pulling away; that she wasn't throwing Jake to the ground at gunpoint or any number of other things Eric had expected her to do.

In his worst nightmares, he'd never imagined she'd kiss him back. Yet, that was exactly what she was doing.

Before, he couldn't make himself walk away. Now, he'd seen enough.

He turned to walk away, his feet falling heavily on the tile below. Through everything that had happened in the past couple years, Eric had never felt this lost, this alone.

Because through everything that had happened, he'd always had Calleigh.

But now he'd lost her, and this time, his heart truly did feel shattered. She'd been right there with him when Marisol died. She'd helped him out financially on more than one occasion, despite knowing he couldn't pay her back. She was right there at his side through his shooting, through his recovery. Eric had come to trust her beyond anybody. And for the first time, he'd truly known how it felt to fall in love.

And now, for the first time, he truly knew heartbreak.

His thoughts grew progressively darker with every step, and by the time he'd made it to the elevator, he was ready to go home and crawl into bed, and never come out.

_You never had her in the first place. _

_You were never what she wanted. _

_You'll never be good enough for her. _

A kiss on the cheek had deluded him into thinking they might have had something, but obviously, he'd been wrong, and now he was the recipient of Calleigh's four phases of heartbreak. Only…she didn't have to say a word to him. And honestly, Eric hoped she didn't. If anything could make him feel worse, it would be her verbal confirmation that they would forever be just friends.

He'd seen all he'd needed to see. Defeated, he'd walked away, without a single look back.

He never knew he'd caught her eye as Jake pulled away from her.

He never knew that Calleigh saw him walking away.

He never saw the way her eyes widened; he never heard her quiet gasp as she realized just what had happened.

Eric never knew that the same sinking feeling, the same fear that plagued him had also taken a hold of her.

Calleigh was afraid _she'd_ lost _Eric_.


End file.
